


i really love you komaeda but what the fuck

by garyc0re



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Character Study, Despair Disease (Dangan Ronpa), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Guilt, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:13:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28356003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/garyc0re/pseuds/garyc0re
Summary: What Nagito and Hajime could have had, in a different timeline.
Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito
Kudos: 99





	i really love you komaeda but what the fuck

**Author's Note:**

> idk just a hajime hinata character study but if he was a little less dumb and a little more sappy. very loosely follows canon events

"Hinata-kun!"

Hajime tenses at that voice, his entire body jerking around. Nagito was jogging towards him, breathing awfully heavy. Fear trickled down Hajime's spine, and he shoved his hands forcefully into his pockets.

"Stay away from me, Komaeda." Hajime snapped, and Nagito's steps faltered. He stumbled to a rather abrupt halt, and there they stood, staring at one another.

Hajime was startled away from Nagito's stare as the white-haired boy began to laugh. The sound chilled the air around him. He took a step back and moved his arms up, crossing them over his chest and rubbing his arms. 

"I - I really thought that out of everyone, you'd understand... but I should have known better... no one would ever want to get close to trash like me." Nagito's arms came up and he hugged himself, a grin slipping onto his face that felt extremely forced.

Hajime frowned and averted his gaze. The part of him that still saw Nagito as a friend wanted to reassure him. But then he thought of Teruteru's trial, of Nagito admitting to trying to harm someone with a small smile playing on his face, and the urge vanished.

"I'm not... I can't be friends with you, Nagito. What you did is messed up." 

"I understand! No worries, Hinata-kun." Nagito threw his hands up and took a step back, every movement natural. "I'll stay out of your hair."

And then he was gone.

\- - -

It wasn't pity he felt for Nagito, it was repulsion, he thought. Maybe if he repeated the mantra to himself enough times, he would begin to believe it.

His fingers touched the cabin door, ignoring the chill that night time had set on the island. He wondered if anyone had valunteered to take Nagito food after he had bailed.

Is it worth it to go check on him? Is it worth it to get roped into the lies? 

As guilty as Hajime felt, Nagito was still a murderer. Maybe not by Monokuma's definition, but he had planned every last detail. 

With a frown on his face and a heavy heart, Hajime pulled away from the door.

\- - -

His arms were around him before he could so much as speak.

Mikan squeaked in shock beside him, and he choked under the taller boy's grip, which was so surprisingly weak, holy shit.

"Hinata-kun came to see me!" He chirped, sounding happy and yet so, so ill. "I can't believe someone as talentless and worthless as Hinata-kun would want to see someone as amazing as me..."

Hajime felt anger churning in his gut and reached his hands up to rip Nagito off of him. "What the hell?"

"Ah, please don't touch me Hinata-kun. Your skin is disgusting." Nagito said and serenely smiled. "You should leave."

"H-Hajime, he wants you to... t-to stay..." Mikan stumbled out from beside him. "I think it would be b-best if you do because... because he's getting we... weaker... and needs the support..." 

Hajime's face morphed into a concerned frown, and he nodded. "Yeah... okay."

"Hajime really needs to leave me alone." Nagito chirped and gazed at him with a look that he would describe as adoring if it weren't so desperate and tired.

"You don't like being alone when you're sick, huh?" Hajime asked, his hands tightening around Nagito's arms as he led him towards the bed.

"I love it, Hajime! It doesn't feel the least bit despairing!" Nagito leaned heavily against him and Hajime nodded gently. He laid Nagito down and climbed in bed with him, letting the other boy cling to him and feeling sick at how weak he was.

Later, when Hajime learned about Nagito's diagnosis, everything made a lot more sense. But for now he could only lay here, his - enemy? no, something else - wrapped around him, confused on why he felt so warm.

\- - - 

"You did what?" Hajime growled, grabbing Nagito's wrist sharply. Nagito looked surprised, and he laughed.

"I won Russian Roulette, of course! Why else would I be here? Seriously, Hinata-kun, don't tell me you don't understand... and I used to believe you were an Ultimate."

The word was hurled like acid towards Hajime, and he felt it like a punch in his gut. His tentative new friendship with Komaeda only seemed to be crumbling at his fingertips, and he felt ill. 

"Komaeda." Hajime frowned. Nagito brushed him off with a wave, and Hajime was left there as Nagito walked past him, off to inform the others of what he had learned.

\- - -

"You're acting like an asshole again." Hajime growled after Gundham's trial. He had tracked Nagito down and cornered him. 

"You say that to me every time we meet, it seems." Nagito said and laughed. 

"Quit that." Hajime frowned and faltered slightly before scowling. "You know, Komaeda, I wanted to take back what I said about staying away from me, but you're making it really hard to even consider it recently. Why does my lack of talent bother you so much?"

"Because you don't deserve to be here, Hinata-kun! You aren't an Ultimate, you have no idea what we face, and so you never should have come to this island." Nagito looked irritated. "I mean, seriously. What do you expect me to do? Pity you, because you get to have a normal life while the rest of us have expectation after expectation piled onto us? I mean - hell, my talent caused every major disaster in my lifetime! Why would you ever want to be like this?"

Hajime faltered and then softened, a sigh escaping his lips. "Nagito..." He muttered, and Nagito froze at the sound of his first name. His entire body seemed to pause as Hajime spoke. "I can't say I imagine how you feel... or that I'll ever imagine it... but please don't take what you've gone through out on me... I've tried very hard to understand you and I'm glad I've gotten so far... I don't want to lose that progress because of your insecurities."

"I just-"

"Please." Hajime muttered. "Reconsider what you're thinking right now. I don't want to watch you burn down something that seems to make you so... happy."

Nagito looked at him and Hajime could swear he saw tears glittering in the corners of his eyes. But when he blinked, Nagito was turned away again.

"...I'll think on it once more... Hinata-kun."

\- - -

Hajime's body felt frozen in place as he stared at Nagito. "I... can't go through with this."

"Can't go through with what, Hinata-kun?" Nagito smiled at him, but a malicious twinkle lit up his gaze, and Hajime wondered if he knew.

"Kazuichi is planning on tying you up again, and - I can't go through with helping them. Nagito, I should have freed you the first fucking time. You're... I don't think you benefit from this little isolation game they like to play with you."

Nagito's face fell, and he blinked in confusion. "...why?"

"What?"

"Why do you care so much about that? I thought you hated me."

"I don't." Hajime glanced straight into Nagito's eyes. "I care about you so much and I... don't know why. You're intriguing, you can be sweet, you can be funny. There's a lot of good qualities buried within you, but you don't let yourself see them."

Nagito blinked heavily, and Hajime was aware that he seemed to be feeling something very strongly. "Hinata-kun..."

"What is it, Nagito?" Hajime murmured.

"I think I'm in love with you."

\- - - 

Hesitantly, Hajime twined his fingers with Nagito's and brought him in for a kiss. 

Nagito had told him about the bombs and Hajime had coaxed him into turning them off. Hajime knew they needed to explain to the others what was going on, so they had made their way here, to the front of the building.

"I'll go in." Hajime murmured. "Stay here."

Nagito blinked again and nodded as if he could hardly believe that his plans could get changed so much by one person. Hajime traced a finger along Nagito's jaw, the motion full with tenderness, and pulled away.

As soon as he walked in, he was grabbed around the neck by Akane. Shouting accompanied his arrival until Kazuichi realized that he was not, in fact, Nagito Komaeda.

"Hajime, what the hell? Where's Komaeda?" Kazuichi's voice rang out, annoyed.

"Outside."

"I'll get him." Akane growled, and Hajime shook his head fiercely.

"No, no need. I've talked with him and gotten everything sorted out-"

"...Hajime?" Chiaki blinked slowly at him. "...you talked to... Komaeda?"

"Yeah." Hajime breathed out slowly. "We're a thing now."

"A... thing." Fuyuhiko said, his voice flat.

"Yes." Hajime glanced behind him. "Nagito, come here!" He called.

The white haired boy arrived a few moments later, his presence drawing suspicion and dislike from the others. Hajime reached a hand out, watching Nagito's face turn red as he inched closer to him and laced their fingers together. 

"I've been... really thinking about our relationship for a while now. You know Nagito was always closest with me."

"I didn't know you meant that close!" Kazuichi seemed to hiss.

Hajime felt his face burn, his finger tracing out a shape on Nagito's palm uncertainly.

"...I won't bite." Nagito said in that soft voice of his, and everyone in the room, minus Hajime, seemed to instantly recoil.

"Seriously, guys, I got him, okay? Not saying I'm like, his keeper or whatever..." He cringed at the phrasing, because wow, okay, Nagito wasn't his dog or anything, "But... he listens to me if I'm able to word myself correctly."

"And what if you can't word yourself correctly? What if he does something you can't fix?" Kazuichi demands.

Hajime isn't really sure how to respond to that one.

\- - -

He felt nothing. In slow steps he made his way to Nagito's body, leaning down to touch the cold palm that had once belonged to someone precious.

Death awaited them all.

\- - - 

Hajime had worked day and night with Izuru, fighting to wake his friends from the coma the simulation had put them in, returning every day to Nagito's case.

Of course Nagito was the weakest. He had cancer for fuck's sake, he had cancer and dementia and autism and who knows what other kinds of problems, he might not ever wake up and what would Hajime do.

He had lost two of them. First Chiaki, brilliant, smart Chiaki who had died before the simulation had ever taken place. No one mentioned that she was gone for good around him. No one brought her up, ever, in fact.

Hajime took her death hard, but Izuru seemed to take her death the hardest. She was the only one who really made Izuru feel, and in that case, there was a stark difference. Where Izuru had only loved Chiaki, Hajime had loved Chiaki and Nagito both.

He'd teach Izuru to love Nagito, if he ever woke up.

The clock kept ticking.

\- - -

When Nagito opened his eyes, he blinked and called out, "Izuru...?" And Hajime knew that he was back again.


End file.
